Two geese and four assorted chickens lay melted on the front grass.  It’s hot and they’ve all made dust bowls, flapped around, dusted off and collapsed happily enjoying the heat.  To look out on them, it looks like poultry mass murder has occurred.

The geese are new additions. My mother had a goose and they loved each other. The goose thought herself a dog and having been raised from a gosling was devotedly affectionate. She would flap around the garden on adventures with her doggy best friend during the day and cuddle down at night convinced she was a purebred K9. She was lovely. My goose, on the other hand, is a reprobate or rather my gander is.

With the ambitious hope of echoing the bond my mother had enjoyed with her goose, I bought a pair of two-year-old Emden Geese.  You of course, have already spotted my error. With a fear of having a gaggle of boys, I had thought it better to have a confirmed pair. Being older they do not hold me in any sort of parental role and they tell me so. I believe they see me rather as a target of their teenage angst who also happens to bring food. So, maybe on second thoughts, they do see me as a parent.

They are near breeding age and they have a complete absence of any family education. Gerti, the goose, throws down a stick and happily sits on it thinking it a nest. Stein, our boisterous gander sees what she is up to, realises he has a part to play and full of enthusiasm; pokes her in the eye.  I continue to try to ‘make friends/stop them hurting me’ and things are improving. Full of curiosity, they come over and poke away at the soil and various exposed body parts as I garden. She is lovely, gentle and quietly chats away; it’s just Stein who is a reincarnation of Genghis Khan.

I love their antics and wouldn’t be without them, even now as I look out to see them all sunbathing and realise how their strewn bodies have made a mess of the garden.

If you would like to adopt a goose, brace yourself and click the link:

http://www.highlandpoultryadoption.co.uk

https://www.rspca.org.uk/findapet/rehomeapet/process/rehomeafarmanimal